You all know their positions. If you don't, the links are on the right. I'll just be going over a few nitpicks along with some serious spin coming out of Admin VP candidate Fernando Ascencio.

Nitpick #1: The "sold-out 14,000 show."

Admin VP candidate Fernando Ascendio wasn't afraid to mention that he was President of the ASUA Speakers Board during the year. I had been a critic of the board last semester for its lack of political bias in choosing speakers. He mentioned numerous people before mentioning a certain "sold-out 14,000 show."

I wonder who that was...

So I called him on it. Ascencio attempted to explain that he didn't want to be "defined as the guy who brought Michael Moore to campus," but his argument falls short. Why would he omit that? Was he simply not proud of it? If he's ashamed of it, he either needs to tell us or simply not run. If he's proud of it, let him say it and take the heat. This was spin.

The bad response actually came shortly after Ascencio directly criticized fellow candidate Cassiopeia Sonn, currently ASUA's marketing director, for not doing a good enough job as marketing director such that ASUA marketing had become a campaign issue. Sonn declined to respond to Ascencio's accusation, which became the only direct candidate-to-candidate question of the day (at least until I left).

Nitpick #2: Bad speaking technique

Mr. Franklin, don't read your speech. Mr. Hill, take off the sunglasses. Mr. Bernsen, I know your face is completely red, but that doesn't mean you have to speak like it. And for pete's sake, it must have been 85 degrees out there! GENTLEMEN, TAKE OFF YOUR COATS!

Nitpick #3: Loaded questions?

After I called Ascencio for what's cited in Nitpick #1, another student went up and asked how much money that ended up costing us. Well, that would be negative $20,000, actually.

But even worse was the unsolicited comment from a guy in the front row who asked the debate moderator (presumably ASUA elections commissioner Adam Falck) if he would ban "loaded questions." To his credit, the moderator explained that this isn't "softball", this was "hardball." Kudos to the moderator.

Nitpick #4: O'Hara left when it wasn't over yet! What a jerk!

For pete's sake, I had a midterm at 1300. Give me a break, you. I didn't even get to fire a question at any of the presidential candidates.

Jacob Hill has replied to our analysis and inquiry about his proposed professor recruitment/retainment fund. In his own words:

Garrett thanks for inquiring.

the student fund is not necessarily a student funded fund. it is a student started letter writing campaign focusing on alumni, local business's and corporations that draw from the u of a grads, and parents. students could absolutely contribute to the fund, anyone who wants to can. the fund will be 100% voluntary, no fees will ever be instituted. sorry about the grammar, but this is a real busy time for me!!

Jacob

Well, President Bush doesn't have very good grammar, either. I wouldn't worry about it, Jacob. Nonetheless, it really ought to be clarified for those who haven't read this.

Update shortly thereafter: Jacob Hill has also informed me that he does have a website. Therefore, his Dead End Award is demoted to the LMTH Award for not mentioning his website where the common student would be able to find it.

Jacob Reuben was nice enough to respond to our analysis with a more in-depth platform. The platform is as follows.

Increase Safety on Campus
Safety has always been a concern for students on our campus. However, student leaders have not addressed the problems adequately. My plan is to create a security director inside the President’s Cabinet. This director would be the liaison between ASUA and other campus organizations dealing with safety such as UAPD, TPD, Risk Management, and the Administration. The director would also work within ASUA to make sure our programs are working to increase safety. Safe Ride could work more efficiently and Women’s Resource Center could have more crime prevention classes. Overall, I will work to make our university and surrounding neighborhoods a better environment for all of us.

Improve Registration Technology
Students are tired of classes being full when registering. We need to make sure class availability is a top priority. With an increase in revenues to our University, I promise to lobby for this money to be allocated to hire more professors and teacher assistants which would increase class availability. Students can not be held responsible to fulfill their academic requirements when they can not enroll in their necessary classes.

I also want to create a web-reg wait list. Similar programs have worked successfully at other campuses and a program needs to be implemented at our university. A wait list would give students the opportunity to monitor their status in a class that is full instead of the current system we have today. A wait list for classes would not only simplify the registration process for students, but would give a standard way of getting into a class for all students. No more picking out of hats by teachers on the first day of class for acceptance. A wait list would provide a fair, easy, and great solution to some of our registration problems. A problem today is when students are not enrolled in an adequate amount of credits even before the semester begins. A wait list would help alleviate this problem since it would give students a better opportunity to plan their next semester’s schedule.

Implement a Fall Break
All students would love to be able to get home a few days earlier during Thanksgiving break. As President, I would work with faculty, administration, and other groups on campus to lobby for an extended vacation during that period. Statistics have already shown that many students do not attend classes during that week and the university could potential save thousand of dollars if they close their doors. This issue is nothing new to the students. However, with my leadership, I hope to be able to find a compromise with the university officials and finally put Fall Break on the calendar!

Three positions still isn't a whole lot, but it is better than what we had before. I suggested that he post what's above, rather than what we had before, on his website.

I originally stated that Bell "propos[ed] setting aside $512,000" when in fact, Bell stated:

Graduating on time requires classes to be open. The solution is to shift resources to where the demand is. Part of ASUA's tuition plan this year includes a $512,000 set aside for class availability. If the proposal makes it through the Board of Regents, the job of next year's ASUA President will be to develop a mechanism that gives those funds to departments in need.

I apologize for and regret the error.

So now, the actual point of the first platform seems to be to "shift resources to where the demand is," which seems to make sense.

Still, it's not very well-worded, which is why I made the mistake in the first place.

The story is still developing, as it was inside word criticizing Mr. Bell that made me aware of the error in the first place. Developing...

Previous post: Original Analysis of Nathan Bell

The Tucson Comrade reports that students will now have their own section in McKale Center for men's basketball games beginning in the 2005-2006 season. While this won't have an impact on McKale itself for some time to come, it will for the ASUA election, as numerous candidates have pushed the student section in their platforms only to find that the issue is now irrelevant.

Currently, Michael Franklin mentions the issue in his platform, and in Daniel Rein's platorm, it's the only issue he mentions!

Ok, so it's time for more awards. Michael Franklin will be forgiven, as he actually has other positions besides the establishment of a student section, and the news only came out yesterday.

Daniel Rein earns the BSPN Award and the Elizabeth Dole Award for Ambiguity for making the already-established McKale Student Section his only position.

Note (27 FEB): Jacob Hill has replied to this analysis to clarify the recruitment/retainment fund proposal. As a result, the possible additional awards mentioned at the end of this analysis are no longer forseeable. In addition to this clarification, he has sent me his website address.

Finally...the last one (of the presidential candidates, anyway).

Jacob Hill comes across as very proactive and willing to give out details. Kudos for this. Knowing the policies for which one stands is a good first step, so he doesn't get a Dole Award. Now where was that website? He, like Cade Bernsen, doesn't have one.

Hill's first platform is "University Unification", calling for ASUA to "[unify] the student body by raising the awareness of programs and services as well as promoting a dialogue among organizations." How is a question, but in this case it's excusable. It is likely that all candidates know about the problem of ASUA's visibility, and the real solution is to simply get out there. Hill addresses this issue later on.

The second platform is "Students Fund for Professional Retainment and Recruitment," meaning that ASUA will facilitate a fund to "pay teachers to stay or come to the most under funded [sic] colleges at the university." The goal is two million dollars. I only give out the Dole Award for overall ambiguity, not ambiguity on one issue alone. I will be personally contacting Mr. Hill to ask exactly how ASUA expects to facilitate the fund, as this smells like encroachment upon economic freedom.

Like some other candidates, Hill also addresses safety, but unlike others give specifics. He proposes safety cameras in every parking garage and large parking lot on campus. This may cost money, but it's definitely a rational way of spending it. I would give him something of a Big Brother award if he proposed hallway cameras, but this is rational.

Hill hints vagueness by naming his fourth platform "Proactive Problem Solving" but manages to get specific by proposing a weekly town hall style forum to hear student concerns. This is the explanation of the first platform as mentioned earlier.

He concludes with "Finishing Unfinished Business" with his largest, though insignificant, hint of vagueness. He commends the current administration (Chapman), but fails to point out what he liked about it.

On 27 FEB, Jacob Hill's Dead End Award was replaced with the LMTH Award after notifying us via email coorespondence of his website. The LMTH Award is in merit of not having a clear way of finding the website as well as having the page title "Jacob hill for class President [sic, emphasis added]."

One word comes to mind after looking at Cade Bernsen's platforms: VAGUE. He basically tells what the issue is, and that he will address it somehow. The "how" part is strangely omitted.

After a short bio (never a bad thing), he addresses campus safety. There's thefts on campus, we know, and he tells us "This is simply unacceptable". Well, yeah. he promises to "increase security." How? More guards? More police? Enforcement of the Second Amendment? What?

Next comes tuition costs. While citing his work with the Texas State Senate, he says he will lobby the Arizona Legislature. Well, how? Offer an tuition estimate? Bribe them? Where does the tuition money go afterwards?

Next comes financial aid. He "feels that there should be more financial aid available". Well, no duh. Where's the money coming from?

Next comes a unique issue: child care. Bernsen supports a child care facility rather than parents taking responsibility for themselves. One can only imagine the results. Oh, it's okay to have an illegitimate kid; there's always child care! The violation of individual rights is obvious here: making students pay for others' lack of responsibility.

Cade Bernsen earns the Dead End Award, the Elizabeth Dole Award for Ambiguity, and the Cash Patch Kids Award for not actually having a website, not actually stating anything specific, and proposing to force students to pay for child care.

Edit: Upon further review, I have edited the wording regarding Mr. Bernsen's support of a child care facility. His statement does not explicitly state ASUA (rather than the university) will pay for the facility, so neither should this review. Nonetheless, the issue should be outside the purview of the ASUA President, so the Cash Patch Kids Award stays in place as before. --GO

Note (26 FEB): I've made a correction to this story regarding Mr. Bell's first platform.

Full Disclosure: My current roommate is Nathan Bell's former roommate, and I did personally meet him during last year's campaign.

Overall, I couldn't find many holes in Nathan Bell's positions. I'll do my best though...[sinister laugh].

Mr. Bell makes quick note of his ASUA experience. Three years so far, 30 hours per week working for it, and currently an ASUA senator. That's about all he mentions, and frankly, that's good enough experience-wise.

Bell's first platform position is on class availability, proposing setting aside $512,000 of tuition money to promote class availability, a far cry from others who simply mention the problem without a solution. Kudos.

Fall break is the second platform position, proposing a week off for Thanksgiving by moving class days to the beginning of the year. Nothing wrong with that, either.

The third platform position is quite a relief: NO MEAL PLAN. Unfortunately, the language is quite weak at the end, stating that ASUA will not support the plan until concerns of special dietary needs, Greek organizations, etc. "are adequately addressed." Students against the meal plan would like to see more emphasis on this. It's a violation of individual rights at the core; there should be no room for negotiation on this one.

Lastly, Bell talks about graduate representation. Definitely a good issue, but other candidates also address it.

Unfortunately, Bell falls at the HTML level. He offers readers to read issues in "full detail" at his website, but it only pops up with what appears to be just an HTML version of some of the flyers he's posted. Though that makes his platform a little more ambiguous, it doesn't warrant the Elizabeth Dole Award for Ambiguity.

Nathan Bell earns the LMTH award for having a website with no useful information whatsoever.

Update: Jacob Reuben has responded to this analysis.

Jacob Reuben makes a point of talking about his credentials. Scholarships, jobs, AE-Pi, Chain Gang, etc. Unfortunately, it's hard to tell exactly where he stands on more controversial issues.

Both his statement and his website indicate three positions on his platform. That's not a heck of a lot.

His first position is to "increase safety on and around campus" by "[creating] an ASUA security director" and to "improve relationships with campus neighborhoods while working with local law enforcement." Given that he hasn't stated exactly what a security director would do, it only sounds like a waste of money until he can explain himself.

Secondly, he wasnt to "improve registration technology" by "[creating] a web-registration wait list for classes" and "[working] to increase class availability". Exactly how he will increase class availability remains an issue. Pay more to faculty? Build classrooms? What?

I previously accused Michael Franklin of being vague, but at least I know where he stands when it comes to the principles of his positions. I can't get anything out of this, hence why this is so short. Reuben doesn't even say anything about the mandatory meal plan.

Jacob Reuben earns the LMTH Award and one of ASUA Watch's highest honors (or lack thereof), the Elizabeth Dole Award for Ambiguity, for having a Windows-based tooltip fixed into the photograph of himself on his webpage and not giving us a real clue about where he stands.

Walking out from the ILC Wednesday, I noticed a bunch of signs around the area where mall-preacher Jed "Windsock" Smock was ranting on as usual, along with what appeared to be protest signs. Great, just give him more attention, will you?

So I head into the general vicinity to find that these aren't protesters. Rather, about seven or eight black students are rallying for Michael Franklin.

Hey, who are you voting for?
I'm voting for Michael Franklin! How about you?
I'm voting for Michael Franklin, too!
Um, uh...
How do you spell his name?

The rally goes on.

Full Disclosure: Two of the rallyers are good friends of mine, and one of them asked me to sign his petition for candidacy, even though I knew none of his positions, as campaining was not allowed to start yet. I signed the petition, in light that the more candidates there are, the more likely there might be better ones in office, but neither the signature nor this review constitute endorsement of Mr. Franklin's candidacy.

Franklin's statement on the ASUA website emphasizes his work with Showtime Athletics, a presumably non-profit organization which seeks to help student athletes without an athletic scholarship to college. Other issues include the need for social activities, "building a stronger community" (whatever that means), and "see[ing] minorities play a larger role". The statement itself does not include a link to his website, which contains the exact same statement as previously mentioned and his platforms.

"Minorities" again come up in his platforms, but now in a more prominent role, going to far as to call for "minority ambassadors." I would think that political minorities (conservatives and libertarians) would be more deserving of such "ambassadors". Go figure.

To Franklin's credit, he opposes the mandatory meal plan, and is in favor of a bicameral ASUA legislature, creating a "house of representatives" made up of unpaid students in order to represent individual colleges within the university.

Like many platforms I've read so far, Franklin's platform fails to give many specifics. For example, he advocates "working with alumni". How? What will they do for us? Build another platform for Jed Smock?

Michael L. Franklin earns the Stupid White Men Award, the LMTH Award, and the Oh Looky I Know Photoshop award for overemphasis of "minority" status, making me log on to The Facebook to find his website and platforms, having a badly-programmed hit counter (try refreshing on the page), and crudely editing himself next to Michael Vick.

Edit: I was told later on that at least three of the students rallying for Mr. Franklin were not of African descent, so at 1738, I changed the word "African" to "black." --GPO

	Awarded for promotion of "minority" influence, "diversity", or otherwise butchering individual intellectual freedom and recognition in favor of the racial collective.
	Awarded for overmarketing of ASUA-funded sports promotion. For example, lobbying for student privileges such as a student section in McKale center is fine, but funding a party using the money of non-fans of the sport is off-limits and warrants the BSPN award.

More to come later...

Well, well. Four authors? I think ASUA has plenty of critics...

So I'm trying to come up with some awards for which I'll design the graphics. Note that the same award may be given to more than one person, so it's not like the Oscars.

"Stupid White Men" award -- illogical use of the race card, "minority" empowerment, "diversity"
The John Edwards' Political Career Memorial "My Daddy Worked in a Mill" award -- use of parental credentials instead of one's own. Family is important, but some, like John Edwards, take it too far.
"Snide Alliance" award -- overmarketing to homosexuals, social engineering, "oppression"
"You are too stupid" award -- Having ASUA take care of items of which students can and should do for themselves
"μίμηση" award -- overmarketing to "Greek" imitation
"LMTH" award -- gross misuse of HTML
"Play That Funky Music" award -- thinking that solving the problem of online music downloading is worthy of student government interference
"Duct Tape" award -- support of speech codes

I know you have more in your head. Post 'em.

Oh, and my apologies to Arizona Watch for stealing their name in a way. I didn't realize the similarity until I had created all of this, but given that "watch" is all over the English language, it's still here to stay. Hey, Bridget (one of their authors) signed on, so what can I say?

What I intend to create here is a cooperative blog spanning across campus to express student dissent against a student government which has failed to represent diversity of opinion across campus. If you'd like to join, please drop a comment below and I'll get with you. Thanks.

Respectfully yours,
Garrett O'Hara